You Are Not Alone

The Ugly Underside of Strength and Resilience in War

It’s not easy being green.

Ok, maybe I’m not Kermit the Frog.

And this isn’t about me, but about all Israelis.

It’s actually f*cking hard being Israeli these days.

Just as it’s hard to be a Jew anywhere in the world.

Not just today, it’s been quite hard in most places outside of Israel in practically all historical periods.

We get a reprieve here and there, like we did for a few decades in the America.

But those golden days are LONG gone.

In Israel, we’re most certainly living our best lives as Jews.

Few would argue with that.

We can pray in whatever synagogue we want, dress in whatever socks and kippa we want, send our kids to whatever school we wish, find amazing kosher food most anywhere, can visit Jerusalem, our spiritual home and capital rather freely.

We can be fully ourselves, rather than being slaves in a golden cage like in America, France or other places.

There is much mythology of machismo and miracles attached to Israel, and rightly so.

Being here in peacetime, you hear stories and see for yourself.

In wartime, it’s a whole other level.

The unity, the genuine patriotism, the desire to help one another without being asked.

Few things rare as inspiring, in my experience.

You can rationalize it as unity in wartime, regard for soldiers fighting for us, in pursuit of freedom, happiness, whatever.

I’m almost done with “For Whom The Bell Tolls” and the parallels with our war here are strong.

But we’re not just any people and this isn’t any war.

We’re not just fighting a war on multiple physical fronts against many enemies (Hamas, Iran, Iraq, Hizballah, Syria, Houtis) and frenemies (Egypt and Jordan and Turkey and Qatar).

There’s also a completely asymmetrical war of public opinion, which we’re losing badly, despite unprecedented from Jews around the world finally awake from blending in for decades and finding anti-Semites no longer give a damn about fig leaves.

There’s an economic war on Israel by Houtis, armed by Iran. We’re subjected to cyberattacks against infrastructure daily.

Outside Israel, just as in Israel itself, there are attacks and demonstrations everywhere demonizing us.

We’re having to defend ourselves in the ICC from accusations by… South Africa, of all countries.

We’re fighting a war on the economic front to keep the Israeli economy afloat while hundreds of thousands of workers are in the Reserves.

Many businesses are going under. There are hundreds of thousands of internal refugees.

Yes, we are strong and resilient.

But we are NOT ok.

Mothers with children and husbands at the front are struggling mightily after 3 months of holding down the fort.

Startups are struggling to stay open.

Layoffs are widespread.

Of course we’re all painted by our haters as some war-hungry behemoth, but all we want is just to live in peace.

Just NO LONGER at the price of being killed for being Jews in our own land.

This constant cognitive dissonance between outward resilience and harsh internal reality takes a massive toll on children and adults alike, of all ages and professions and stations in life.

Nobody’s been spared.

The mental health toll alone will take DECADES to overcome.

To be sure, we will win.

Because we have ZERO ALTERNATIVE.

We value life too much.

There are moments when this cognitive dissonance breaks open.

The war that is sometimes heaviest is the one against the deafening SILENCE of our supposed friends and allies.

We Jews are always the first to the barricades for DEI, for equal rights, for healthcare reform, gun control and a million other causes.

Not just in word and deed, but also with wallet.

And it turns out, nobody much appreciates it or cares for it.

We just learned today that a quarter (!!) of employers in an anonymous survey admit that they basically don’t want to hire Jews!!

I mean, I’m not totally shocked. I know my history.

But still, this is in America, in 2024, for crying out loud!

We’ve seen this before in Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia and practically everywhere else we’ve lived after exile from Israel by the Romans.

Shit is really dark these days, it’s no exaggeration.

In this vein, when you get unexpected sympathy that’s neither forced nor banal, it’s truly a marvel.

A few days ago, my wife and I went to an Israel Philharmonic concert in Tel-Aviv.

First time, it’s always been a bucket-list-type item in my mind, as much as I don’t care for bucket lists.

Simon Bychkov, the famous conductor and music director of the Czech Symphony, was on the stage.

I recognized his face and curly gray mane, but not his name.

Clearly, by the sound of his voice, it was clear he was a Russian Jew who spent a long time in the U.S.

After they played Mendelssohn’s Italian Symphony, he turned to the audience and spoke from the heart.

Without banalities or flair, he simply stated that he was invited and was glad to come to Israel.

He said that we are fighting the darkness, that we represent the light, and must continue.

He said that he would unfortunately be going back to the darkness after leaving Israel.

Most importantly, he said…

You are not alone.

We are with you.

Of course people clapped a long time.

It was incredibly touching.

Without anything sappy.

Just pure emotion. We all felt it.

He turned back and they played Hatikvah.

Yes, I’m not ashamed to say, I cried like a child.

We all felt the weight of the moment and also the love.

Of course Maestro Bychkov spoke from his heart.

He was a refusenik, along with his family, in 1974, when they managed to leave and eventually make it to the U.S.

It’s not that any of us let our guard down when shown sympathy.

It’s not that Israelis are any less heroic simply for existing under impossible circumstances.

We’re all just simply humans, like everyone else.

It’s that we feel incredibly lonely in a world that seems thrilled to harm us, curse us, harass us, anything but help us and sympathize with us.

Of course we know we have true friends among the nations.

But they are definitely few and far between, especially these days.

What do we crave, above all?

Maybe it’s just simple understanding, not even sympathy.

We know it’s there from other Jews, mostly.

They’re dealing with the fallout and feel it on their own skin.

But maybe, just maybe, a little understanding from non-Jews.

It’s rare and it’s highly valued.

That’s really it.

We’re not alone.

We are enough.

We will get through this.

Sending love from the Holy Land.

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Housekeeping note:

Wanna buy me coffee for some hard-hitting thoughts?

Go for it here. Much appreciated!. 

Oh, and tell all your friends, too 🙂 

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