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Focus is Over-rated; Distract Thyself!
Why ADHD-Level Curiosity Is Actually a Massive Advantage
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In this issue: ADHD for the… WIN?! You bet.
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Focus is Over-rated; Distract Thyself!
If I had a dime (hell, a penny) for every time I’ve been called distracted, unfocused, disorganized, etc., I would be a VERY rich man, indeed.
I’ve gone to psychiatrists to diagnose ADHD, and was told I was just short of it. “But if you want the medication, no problem.”
UGH.
We all know the insane rate of diagnosis of ADD and ADHD in America these days.
Other countries either don’t have a name for it, or just call it, ya know - childhood.
I don’t know if it’s age or maturity or just a lot of hammer blows from life.
Lately, I’m feeling more put together, a little less ADHD. If that makes sense.
Maybe it’s a different hormonal profile, 3 kids growing up quickly, more obligations, more bills to pay.
That’s not the point.
I know how to focus, ok?
OOOOHHH, beautiful butterfly, LOOOOK!!!
Just kidding. #NotKidding.
I’m still very much a kid at heart.
Not so sober that I don’t stop to smell the roses (literally and figuratively).
I still get excited by discovering new fiction.
By the way, Agua Viva by Clarice Lispector is helping me rediscover my taste for writing fiction. Let’s see what comes of it ;)
True brilliance. I feel like I might be some sort of reincarnation of the same soul as Clarice Lispector.
Or at least it’s fun as a thought experiment.
When I read her, it’s as if she wrote with the same words, had the same exact sorts of impressions, the same kind of wordplay, the same irreverence and endless curiosity about life, the same disregard for conventions (literary and social).
Just wow. Haven’t had something written touch me in this way in some time.
I don’t know if it’s because she’s of the same background (Russian/Ukrainian Jewish), an immigrant at 9 (same as me) to a very different country and provincial town (northeastern Brazil for her, Kentucky for me), the sense of never quite belonging, even while being more them then they themselves.
Whatever it is, it’s unnervingly empowering.
The observations are fresher than fresh spring water. She was around 50 and still just as much in love with life and words and observations.
So there’s that.
But back to being curious and distracted…
It was Friday early afternoon before Shabbat.
Kids are antsy, my wife is kind of disappointed that we haven’t made it out anywhere.
So I pull out my trusty Google Maps and go to work, zooming in and out of little towns in the Galilee.
Most things are closed at that point, or closing at 2.
I keep looking and strike gold.
There’s an actual flea market (not just some tiny stall) open until 4.
We decide on the spot to drive there. 35 min out, near the village (and old Jewish town, two millennia plus ago) of Tzippori, once called Sepphoris.
According to Wikipedia:
What happened in Sepphoris?
In Galilee, Jewish rebels overran Herod's armory at Sepphoris and seized weapons. Rome deployed legions to end this revolt in its client state and ultimately crucified 2,000 rebels throughout the Jewish kingdom. Sepphoris was burned and its inhabitants made slaves.
Why not? Looks like a cute hipsterish village.
We make it to the flea market.
As flea markets go, nothing overly special. My wife found some great vintage clothes.
Kids found marbles. My oldest found a few triple-tier jewelry boxes. Our boy found some superhero figurines.
I found myself back on Google Maps, looking around the place.
Down the mountain, I’m shocked to find…
The tomb of one of the central figures of Jewish history in the years after the destruction of the Second Temple, Rabbi Yehuda HaNassi (the Prince) (often referred to just as “Rabbi” as the ultimate master).
As with a few of the Sages, there is disagreement over whether he was indeed buried in Tzippori or in Tivon, where he presided over the Sanhedrin (Jewry’s Supreme Legal Body).
I was confused because I remember visiting a place in Tivon (I’ve written about my hikes near the burial cave) and yet found this tomb.
Since he died on a Friday, it would indeed have been difficult to bring him 15 kilometers to Beit Shean before sundown. So this really could be the place.
One other thing I find nearby…
A coffee roaster, and perhaps the best one in Israel, at that!
I don’t expect the guy to be open so late on a Friday, but I call him anyway.
He graciously accepts to come from his house to his roastery and sell us some beans.
We drive over. He opens the gate.
Lovely guy, David. His company is Kilimanjaro Coffee, by the way.
[And yes, the coffee is truly superlative, if you’re curious - I tried a cup at 6 PM after we came back. Yeah, totally different level from other beans we’ve bought]
After paying, we found ice cream at the nearest gas station.
Finally, we drove over to the tomb.
My wife had two work calls while we went down into the tiny synagogue below ground, through a low doorway.
Mind you, I’ve been to quite a few of these tombs. It’s always a special experience.
But inside this one, I felt something fundamentally different.
I can’t explain it fully. Maybe the profound silence shrouded in velvet above the tomb.
Maybe it’s the low light, the stones.
Much more than that, when I prayed, I felt a profound peace and comfort.
It’s as if suddenly, after two years in Israel, I somehow finally belong here.
As in, even though my Hebrew is very so-so and I still have trouble accepting a lot of things I see and experience here (indignation crops up here, at least a few times a week).
I truly can’t explain why here, why right then and there.
Why it’s here and not another tomb.
Why not the other tomb of his, for that matter (I felt nothing much there except archaeological curiosity).
Being not terribly knowledgeable about Rabbi Yehuda Ha-Nasi, I spoke to my dear friend Mickael, who’s learned the Mishnaiot.
He said, of course you felt something there, since he was the one mainly responsible for encoding the Oral Law, often in such cryptic terms that only the most learned people can access them, often in flashes, when they’ve learned other sources.
I don’t know the exact connection here (it’s definitely cryptic), but I can’t deny how strong it is.
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Look, if you read my newsletter much, you know that I always find some sort of interesting adventures, often on a dime, out of nothing and in places that seem nothing special.
How does this happen?
Yeah, maybe a bit of that ADHD thingie.
But most importantly, insatiable curiosity, like a child who never grew up 100%.
It’s a fault and it’s a virtue, just the same.
Certainly hard to be bored this way.
There’s always SOOOO much to learn and understand and explore.
Frankly, I don’t understand how Israelis who live here for decades can be so unmoved by the fact that they live next door to such GIANTS of Jewish thought.
Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi was apparently friends with Marcus Aurelius, according to some. The latter would sneak into Israel and converse for long periods with R’ Yehuda on a wide range of subjects connected with philosophy, politics and many others.
He was an incredibly wise, wealthy and learned man who was the leader of the Jewish people at a time when our Temple was destroyed, our traditions were disappearing and needed to be written down.
He was the right man for the job.
And here we are, walking around 1800 years later in our own land again, many of us totally oblivious of the unbroken chain of our people in this land, despite horror after outrage against us here, in Spain, in Germany and much everywhere else.
So what do I learn from my ADHD/curiosity?
Sure, it’s often unfocused, disturbs others’ sense of organization and order.
Many must silently wonder, what does this guy smoke? (LOL, nothing)
I just go on with my business, as I see fit.
But more than just some sort of “my way or the highway” chant, I sincerely believe that when properly channeled and protected with clear boundaries, ADHD and child-like curiosity are actually a MASSIVE asset.
I’m not talking just about some sort of academic genius or tech founder who sees numbers everywhere or synesthetic writer who sees words in colors.
Nor am I talking about poor self-regulation by people who can’t get off their phone or computer or other device and get distracted by cat videos, blue/brown dresses and all that junk.
In practical, daily life, having a deficit of attention can be a huge advantage.
Not something to glorify, but to silently grow into a superpower.
Let me explain.
Now, firstly, the reason most people who are ADHD or easily distracted never reach their full potential is because…
Society punishes this through stigmatization, punishment, elimination through medication, etc. [Yes, extreme cases of course need some restraints to permit executive function on some fundamental level. BUT…]
Life is complex and childlike curiosity too often interferes with the wonder aspect.
Life punishes attention deficit, because attention to detail is such a hugely important skill in a society driven by the fine print, litigiousness, lack of trust, truthiness, scams and so on.
Wait, I thought this was a list of advantages…?
Patience!
Sure, without help from more organized people and the self-control to implement basic life infrastructure (stable income, room and board, basic financial management, social graces), there is no room for the advantages to stick.
But when you’ve got the basics down…
That intense curiosity and attention deficit need not be a life sentence for dysfunction.
In fact, eternal curiosity:
keeps you young and young at heart (as in, there are actual physical benefits to being unable to sit still)
exposes you to so many people, concepts, disciplines, ideas, places, connections, networks, nature, art, languages and other slices of life that you are never bored and ALWAYS making new connections between maps and layers in your head
makes and keeps you intensely creative, unwilling to respect bullshit boundaries between people and things and ideas and concepts and networks
cross-pollinates what you know with what you just learned, giving you a unique — and uniquely enriching — perspective
makes you more open to new experiences, new people, new ideas, which prevents you from stagnating too easily in any area of your life
exposes you to MANY, MANY more opportunities in the worlds of ideas, business, personal and professional development
exposes you to MANY, MANY more opportunities to not just learn and gather, but also to teach and give over to others all the unique perspective and understanding that you’ve gained
teaches you to value yourself intensely, after the world has taught you to despise yourself intensely for somehow being a rebel, rule-breaker, outlier, unconventional thinker and actor
And by the way, NONE of this comes at the cost of trashing anyone who’s more conventional, more systematic, more math/science/engineering-minded people, the early risers, the uber-successful hard workers who conquered the vertical.
Every person is needed in the world, no matter how “useful” or “saleable” their background or experience are.
Society tends to favor certain people, backgrounds, experiences, ideas, etc.
This means nothing for how valuable all the others are.
It just means that the “others” have to work that much harder on themselves and on changing society in order to accept themselves and to be accepted.
I proudly belong to the latter.
There are many others who have to work even much harder than myself to accept themselves and to be accepted by society.
I salute you all with the same fervor!
To those in the “majority,” I ask you to be more careful not to trample those that seem not to “have their shit together.” Learn to see the world through those “other” eyes that see something quite different from you.
And for those eternally curious ones who can’t always focus easily, I ask you to accept and treasure yourself, but also to “get your shit together” and learn not to be starving artist, but a functional human.
If I could do it (or even pretend, for years), you definitely can.
And also, don’t trash the Muggles (LOL, I mean “functional”/conventional people).
They make the world run, just like you, but in very different ways.
We all need each other.
Be kind. No need to rewind.
With love,
Yuri
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Send this to 5 of your friends. NOW. Seriously. Pretty, please 🙂
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Whether it’s the first time, or if it’s just been a while, let’s connect and get to know each other (better) as humans.
If we haven’t connected yet, connect with me on LinkedIN. I post some super useful stuff there, as well :)
Put 30 minutes on my calendar to chat. No strings attached, whatsoever.
Let’s get to know each other (in many cases after not chatting for a long time) as humans, friends.
Of course, if there’s something I can help you with, just ask and I’ll do whatever I can to ask.
Don’t be a stranger, friend.