Brain Aging… With Pride, Not Prejudice

The Overblown "Horror" of Brain Aging -- And Why It's Actually a Great Thing

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In this issue: The Glorious Blessing (Yes, Glory!) of Brain Aging

Brain Aging… With Pride, Not Prejudice

If you’re 40, going on 20, like me, you can relate.

Ok, 40’s the new 20.

Maybe not physically.

I can’t run as fast (or at least I never try, I probably could), but I’ve still got the endurance.

I don’t know if I can still do that 7-minute mile, like in high school.

I ran a half-marathon in 2 hours flat, on my first (and only) try.

Give me a few hours to hike, I’m still happily at it.

It’s not all that bad, either way, although recovery time is another story.

And mentally?

Well, of course, I’m much wiser and more well-informed than I was in my 20s and 30s.

LOL.

It’s true, all jokes aside.

Life experience has its rewards, no matter how harsh it seems in the moment (or year).

I know, I know, if you’re 35+, you’ve probably thought about your speed of processing once or twice lately, if not quite a lot, in fact.

Brain aging seems like a massive bitch.

I mean, imagine slowing down your processing time, reaction time.

Agility and speed are the name of the game, a massive source of pride for some of us used to speeding our way through life, what through New York City streets, through career changes (slowest speed racing EVER), moving to new homes, cities and countries, having more kids, starting new companies, working with new people.

WHEEEEWWWWWW!!!!

So there’s got to be some sort of slowdown at some point, right?

I just spoke to a friend who’s a few years younger (around 35) who just had his 4th kid.

Of course he’s not sleeping well, still working like crazy, taking care of the older kids and the baby when his wife can’t.

They’re both engineers. Amazing guys, super smart, work crazy hard all the time.

He complained to me that his memory suddenly started giving out.

He used to memorize entire poems as a kid (yep, he’s Russian too, like me), and now, has trouble memorizing much of anything.

Sure, it might be genetic factors. Might be temporary effects of insufficient sleep.

Who knows? But we all know, time is undefeated.

Sooner or later, we all bow to the gravity of age.

Some more gracefully and in better form than others.

But bow we do, nevertheless.

Another friend, who’s 43, is super physically active and reads constantly.

No seeming drop-off there, although we haven’t talked in detail about it.

And here I am, at 40, also seeing some smaller effects, but seeing them nevertheless.

Maybe I’m not quite as quick with the recall of the million associations I used to have.

Not jumping like crazy at exploring every new distraction, AI tool, flower, insect or detail I still happily notice.

My kids have taken some of that from me.

Maybe I just don’t get excited as easily by the same things.

Maybe my ADD/ADHD (undiagnosed, but almost certainly there, somewhere, for all these years) is deflating.

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep.

Maybe it’s age. Maybe it’s genetics.

Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s Maybelline.

LOL.

It’s not a speed thing, either.

I walk a ton, take the stairs a lot, try my best not to eat too much or to eat much junk.

Nothing biohackerish, per se, but still in pretty decent shape, for the most part, thank G-d.

So ok, I guess it’s not any marked or remarkable change or anything.

But there’s still clearly a sort of “unclogging” or unlearning that’s taken place over the last few years that’s been super helpful.

I’m clearly no longer a 20-something on the loose in NYC with high sensitivity and a novelistic sense of adventure.

Neither am I struggling 30-something with a couple kids hanging on for dear life in Brooklyn while trying to build a business, while still holding on to many illusions gained in my 20s.

And frankly, it’s a huge blessing.

There are still difficulties, of course.

No magic wands or trust funds here, ya know.

But if anything has truly changed over these last few years, it’s a sort of clearing of the windshield.

As in, not stopping to notice things in my frontal and peripheral vision.

It’s not any sort of self-numbing or willful blindness or anything, G-d forbid.

It’s really just not reacting to the same sorts of stimuli at all, or as much.

It’s going through the reaction lifecycle more quickly and coming back to earth a lot sooner.

It’s not having the same fears (and sometimes, blind hopes) that I had when I was younger.

It’s knowing myself better, my tendencies, ebbs and flows, cycles, selected foolishness and over-seriousness.

It’s implementing more kinds of insurance in my life.

Yes, life insurance, but also insurance in the form of high standards for myself.

It’s having a much better dialed-in set of tastes, sensibilities, understandings of myself and of how the world really works.

Insurance in the form of letting the wrong people and opportunities and arguments go much more quickly.

It’s trusting myself more in certain regards, and outsourcing, delegating or automating the rest.

It’s not chasing fool’s gold everywhere.

Maybe most of all, despite all the ADD/ADHD, I somehow have learned to focus, get organized, get shit done, mostly be on time, not say extra things, not make the extra joke.

I don’t know, boring, annoying, pedestrian adulting stuff.

But maybe it’s not so bad.

Maybe it’s inevitable, sure.

But even for the irascible optimists like myself, those of us that sub-consciously think they’ve tapped some sort of fountain of youth, sooner or later bow to the gravity of age… and aging.

So maybe I’m not so fast to process or to recall every possible Proust or Nabokov or (Thomas) Mann reference in every situation where it would have been called for in my 20s or early 30s

It’s not recalling every possible person I’ve been with in every kind of familiar situation.

It’s not recalling what girl I took on what date and exactly where, when I would visit there again.

G-d bless, all that’s ancient history anyway and not so interesting at this point.

But you know what?

There’s so much magic in knowing yourself better, in doing a lot more things that you actually enjoy, and perhaps most of all…

in doing a lot less of the shit you can’t stand. Either because you don’t have to anymore, because you can outsource it, or perhaps because you actually started enjoying, oh, taking out the trash or doing the dishes or gardening because they give you… peace and quiet and time to yourself to think and process and plan and create.

We always hear, “Aging is no Joy” (in Russian, we say, “Starost ne Radost”).

But maybe, just maybe, if we can escape the conventional “wisdom” of our forebears, who lived in harder times and with much less, say under repressive regimes, we can start seeing the great parts of aging.

No more bullshit, no more wasting time, no more consuming stupid nonsense and giving time away to those who don’t deserve it.

Maybe there IS more joy in aging than we talk about in the popular discourse?

There are no guarantees in life, of course. None other than death and taxes, I suppose.

Anything could change, at any time.

As I learned earlier this week, when suddenly I felt insanely dizzy, things as simple as posture and lack of sleep can lead to a profound disorientation.

It’s probably due to poor oxygenation of the brain, frankly.

Pretty horrible feeling.

But the point remains.

If you do the hard work, work hard on yourself, put up and reinforce your barriers, live a reasonable healthy life, take good care of yourself and the people around you, you should have a good opportunity to enjoy your aging process.

It should be slow and happy and healthy.

But most importantly, meaningful.

If this last part is missing, there ain’t much that healthy physical aging can do for you.

You have to live FOR something, more even FOR SOMEONE or particular people (your spouse, kids, parents, friends, tribe, etc.).

This is the stuff.

We’re only getting started, with G-d’s help.

Each day is an opportunity to age meaningfully.

Make yours count, dear friend!

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Time to get off the sidelines.

Like, this is basically all the best stuff I’ve ever produced, with weekly updates and a ton of new stuff.

YEP, IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING!! GET EXCITE!

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